Letter No. 15 | The Third Ginhawa Principle: Add Delight

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Here’s something I kept bumping into even after I found my why.

I knew my ritual mattered. I believed in it. I had real reasons for doing it. And still, some mornings, it felt like one more thing on a list that never got shorter. I’d do it, but I wouldn’t look forward to it. And eventually, not dramatically but slowly, I’d start skipping it.

I used to think that meant something was wrong with me. That I just wasn’t disciplined enough. But I don’t think that’s what was happening. I think the ritual was missing something. That’s the third Ginhawa Principle: Add Delight.

Not as a reward after the ritual. Inside it. Woven into the doing itself.

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Let me tell you what this looked like for me.

Journaling had been on my list for a long time. I knew it helped me. I had my reasons. And still I kept walking away from it, not in one big decision, just slowly and then completely.

Then one night I made myself a cup of tea before I sat down to write. Nothing special. Just something warm in my hands, something that smelled like the end of the day. And something in me settled.

I wasn’t just journaling anymore. I was doing the thing I looked forward to. The tea was mine. The quiet was mine. The page felt worth sitting down for.

I’ve rarely missed it since.

That’s what delight does. It changes the reason you return. Without it, you come back to a ritual because you’re trying to be consistent. With it, you come back because some part of you genuinely wants to. That’s not a small difference. That’s the difference between something that lasts and something that quietly disappears.

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We were usually told that if it feels too easy or too enjoyable, it probably doesn’t count. That real self-care is supposed to require effort. But that’s not alaga. Alaga is care. And real, sustainable care for yourself is allowed to feel like something you love. You are not required to suffer through your own self-care.

So look at the rituals you keep abandoning. Not the ones you’ve never tried, the ones you keep starting and quietly walking away from. Ask yourself honestly: is there anything in the doing that you actually enjoy? Or have you built them entirely around what’s good for you, with no room left for what feels good to you?

Those are not the same thing. And they don’t have to be in conflict.

Add the tea. Use the journal you’ve been saving for the right time, this is the right time. Find the part of your day that already holds something beautiful and let your ritual live there.

You found your why in the last letter. Now give it somewhere worth returning to.

Meaning is what anchors you. Delight is what keeps bringing you back.

Meaning is what anchors you. Delight is what keeps bringing you back.

With love,

Kristen

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